To Men's Soccer Coaching Staff, University of Alabama-Birmingham...

There's a little thing in this world called class. Class is a set of behaviors that set you apart from everyone as being that person that can take some heat, and continue on with your day with a smile on your face. Case in point: Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods gets a little criticism here and there, pops back up at the next tournament, and kicks everybody's ass.

Now, in the world of intercollegiate athletics, there is an extra element to everything called students. Students, myself included, are loud, boorish idiots when it comes to being spectators at a sporting event. We taunt you, we make fun of you, and we try to make your life as miserable as possible for the time that you are on our field of competition. However, since we're the ones who pay the university thousands of dollars a year, plus whatever the cost of tickets might be, we get cut a little slack. We're trying to defend the turf that we are putting huge amounts of our money into.

However, you the coach, making tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars per annum, have no right to turn around to face the students and be a total dick.

So, let's set up the scene. UAB's men's soccer team has come to take on the Indiana Hoosiers and, most importantly, IU Soccer's fans, who are probably some of the toughest fans in the business. UAB's head coach (whose name I don't care to look up because I have no respect for them right now) is complaining about everything all evening. Whenever the referee blows his whistle, coach is right off his seat, saying some stupid thing to any official he can find. On one play, there is some mutual shoving in front of the IU net, a UAB player goes down, and the ref gives IU the ball after a lengthy discussion. Coach is not thrilled, and he gives the business to the assistant ref, who finally gets the coach to sit down and shut up. On a later play, and IU attacker is blatantly tripped up in the box and is awarded a penalty shot. Coach is back on his feet, goes over to the assistant ref (who had absolutely nothing to do with the call, mind you), and starts giving him the business again. The AR is obviously annoyed at this point, forcefully sends the coach back to the bench, and puts his flag up to signal the head official. Head official comes over, chats with the AR, and puts the red card on the coach. Game over, goodbye, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Of course, the student section is going to get on the coach, because he was being ridiculous and he really deserved to be ejected from the game. Unfortunately, the players on the UAB side happen to be really good at getting up, dusting themselves off, and overcoming these kinds of issues. They come back a few minutes later and put the ball in the IU net for the go-ahead goal....and this is where things get stupid.

The IU fans are quiet. Their team is three minutes from getting beat and they know that it'll be a tough battle just to come back and tie the game. The UAB players go mob the goal-scorer, as soccer players would generally do, but there is one man who isn't joining the celebration: UAB's fat piece of shit of an assistant coach. This guy immediately turns around and starts dancing around in front of the bleachers like a fucking retard. Then, he repeatedly pumps his fists up in front of his face and, even though he kept them down, you know he was just dying to throw his middle fingers up at the IU faithful.

I would describe what might have happened to this gentleman had there not been a fence between the stands and the field, but i think your imagination can figure it out. In fact, if this had been in Europe of South America, that gentleman would be damn near dead right about now. As a member of a collegiate coaching staff, it is not your place to go around being a total dick to the opposing fans, just because they had been taunting you. Even your team, which you are in charge of in the head coach's absence, was playing it real and celebrating the goal. They know what it's like to be in an opposing stadium and take the heat from the fans, but apparently you don't. You seem to think that because the students are taunting you, you can turn around and taunt them right back because you seem to be better than everyone. Well guess what, dickwad. You're a terrible role model, a terrible human being, and you're damn lucky that you coach intercollegiate soccer because, if this had been football or basketball, your ass would be out of a job real fucking fast. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the fucking fire.

...Ok, I'm off my soapbox now. Pardon my French.